Helping Your Tween Navigate Holiday Family Gatherings

The holidays can be joyful—but also overwhelming for tween girls who are still developing their sense of identity and confidence. Between big family gatherings, unfamiliar relatives, and endless questions (“How’s school?” “Do you have a boyfriend?”), it’s easy for a young girl to feel anxious, shy, or unsure of herself.

Here are a few ways you can help your daughter feel grounded and confident this season:

1. Talk About What to Expect

Before heading to a family event, talk through what the day might look like—who will be there, what activities are planned, and any social expectations. When girls know what to expect, it helps reduce anxiety and prepares them emotionally for new or awkward situations.



2. Practice Boundaries and Small Talk

Help her come up with responses for common questions that might make her uncomfortable. For example:

• “Thanks for asking, school’s going well!”

• “No boyfriend, I’m focusing on soccer right now.”

• It’s not about being rude—it’s about having respectful ways to protect her personal comfort and confidence.

3. Create a Calm Space

Let her know it’s okay to take short breaks during family events. Whether that means stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, reading a book in a quiet room, or helping in the kitchen, small resets can keep her emotions steady and her confidence intact.

 4. Focus on Connection Over Performance

Remind her she doesn’t have to “perform” for relatives or impress anyone. Encourage her to find one or two people she enjoys talking to and focus on meaningful moments rather than pleasing everyone.

5. Reflect Together Afterwards

After the gathering, talk about what went well and what felt hard. Celebrate her confidence in handling new situations and brainstorm what she might do differently next time. These small reflections teach emotional awareness and self-trust—two core pieces of lifelong resilience.

Key Takeaway:

Holiday gatherings can be powerful opportunities for growth. With your support and a few emotional tools, your daughter can move from feeling anxious or self-conscious to confident and connected—embracing the season with calm and authenticity.